Spring is just around the corner ! It’s crazy how time flies, when I was young, time went very slowly, you had to be very patient, wait for the next school holidays when they had just ended, it was extremely long, the weeks lasted months and I’m not even talking about years, they lasted forever. Today, the problem has been completely reversed, as soon as I arrive on Friday afternoon and without realizing it I am already on Sunday evening, all this to say that the weekend is over, and so quickly that I had not even noticed it. As far as the beginning of the week is concerned, as soon as Monday morning I start my work and here I am again waiting for Friday afternoon. The only thing that doesn’t change and that lets itself be desired is the salary, the end of the month comes slowly, I start counting from the 15th of the month and say one week later it’s not possible, it’s still the 17th of the month whereas in my mind two days it lasted a week, it’s beyond me and I can’t understand it. In short, I think we’re all in the same boat, I mean all those who work for a bourgeois who has trouble making a salary transfer before the 7th of the following month when he knows that the deductions from the account start on the 5th, do something if you can hear me because deep down inside me there’s a cold revolt that makes me want to retire and get up every morning and say that spring is coming soon.
The hangover and the head of an idiot ! I could have gone on talking to you about spring, the passing of time and Serge Reggiani if you like, because I still don’t know how I could get straight to the heart of the matter, it’s not exactly obvious and totally absurd. I want to talk to you about Luc, and I want to tell you that he’s got himself into some nice white sheets. Not at all, you know he’s a bit of an atheist and so he’s never been to church and so he can’t be in penance, to be forced to attend Christmas Mass entirely dressed in white. These are stories for believers, personally, I didn’t get a Christmas present this year, but I’m not complaining, he on the other hand the poor guy is to be pitied a little, instead of presents, he spent this last Christmas behind bars in prison, the colors of the sheets where he slept on Christmas Eve was not white, rather dirty gray color and he almost died of cold. And as he had drunk 5 liters of cheap rosé on Christmas Eve to suffocate his grief in alcohol, he woke up with a hangover and the head of an idiot, but above all he was very thirsty. It is important to know that on December 25th the prison guards who are on call are not legion, to quench his thirst for water and so Luc drank the water from the toilet bowl. If I told you about the color of the sheets, then you will excuse me but I prefer not to tell you about the state of the toilet bowl. He was in prison for three days, when he was released he was summoned for an immediate appearance before a judge, since that day he has been telling me all the time how he opened Pandora’s box. Yes, it was indeed a Pandora who devoted himself to the pillory by growing horns and asking him to say words of love to him. Since then, he has been in pain, he cries out his pains, and he cries out his sorrows, and I listen to him, I try to help him, but I don’t know how. For this reason I decided to go into the letter-writing business and write this article, however, and before publishing it, I asked him for written permission. I admit that sometimes I’m a little off topic, but how do you turn a drama into a story that will be read all over the world, by so many people. There would be something to write a book and not an article to deal with a subject like this. In the end, he was sentenced to eighteen months in prison, including eight farms and six thousand euros in damages, but as he has minor children and a job, his sentence will be adjusted to allow him to provide for these children. So I am telling you this story with my phlegm and from the heart, since this Christmas he has lost ten kilos and every time he eats something he vomits it so early, since that day he has had a hangover and the head of a fool.
Pandora’s box ! I went to search in the epistles on the internet to find out the contents of such a box, which was Pandora’s box, because like you I am not a specialist in Greco-Roman mythology and sincerely it does not fascinate me more, fortunately we have friends for that. So I came across a lot of legends and missives that vociferate sad chronologies, but it is the one of the two brothers Prometheus and Epimethius and their misfortune after having met Pandora that challenged me. Prometheus and Epimethius are titans, legitimate sons of my friend Zeus, but of course that remains to be proved, in short, it seems that Zeus would have sent them on earth to create men. Prometheus had a tender heart, he saw that men had not yet thought of buying clothes and that they started to curdle their loaves because of the cold. He went to steal fire from his father Zeus, who had always been a bastard and a real bastard, it seems and it is not me who says so, the latter did not want to share anything with his children. Our Prometheus showed the men how to use the fire and he settled down to live with them. Well you understand that Zeus was not going to stop there, leaving Prometheus alone after he stole the fire from him. No-of course, he then decided to take revenge and asked Hephaestus, who is a basic blacksmith, to go and titillate the little Prometheus. Hephaestus adores fire, you may say, it goes without saying, he needs it to work. With the enlightened advice of Zeus, he decided to create Pandora in the image of a goddess who was later the first woman on earth. So he created Pandora with the perfect panoply of a killer, he knew how to deal with fire, he gave her revolting eyes, soft skin, big tits and a perfectly calibrated callipyge, exactly what it takes to make any guy who crossed his eyes drool. André Hardellet described Pandora more elegantly than me, he said “she had a beautiful face, roberts like the Mont Blanc and thighs, you should see her in a swimsuit”, sacred André, he still has the words to describe Pandora. However, Hermes, who is an idiot par excellence because he always meddles in what does not concern him, wanted to annoy Prometheus even more, he added to the beauty of Pandora other characters such as cunning, deceit, laziness, wickedness, stupidity, betrayal and the charming and deceptive word, to do well, he added a curiosity without limits. So, before she was sent to earth Zeus offered her a box or a box as a dowry for her future husband. In order to take even more revenge on Prometheus, he locked up in this box old age, sorrow, disease, famine, misery, madness, vice, deception, and passion as well as hope – everything that that idiot Hermes had forgotten through negligence. All the evils that men on earth were unaware of before Pandora set foot. Of course, Zeus did not want to bear the blame for all the misfortunes that were going to befall men, so he asked Pandora never to open this box, but to offer it to her future husband, so that the man who was going to open it would be the one responsible for these misfortunes. But as this fool of Hermes made Pandora curious, you can imagine the rest of the story. Good Prometheus was a real guy, tough guy, maybe because he was Greek, I don’t know, he sent Pandora to graze, but his brother Epimethius started drooling and getting stiff as soon as he saw Pandora and he ended up marrying her. Epimethius, like all men on earth, was not curious and had no vice. One day, while he was going shopping, Pandora, devoured by curiosity, opened her box and let out all the evils it contained on men. And the hope that was locked in the same box came out last to allow men to bear the evils that had just poured out on the earth.
Women from somewhere else ! Luc is a common name, I chose him to become the hero of my stories, in English, we say Sky Walker, in Italian, we say Look, and in Arabic we say Leeke, my boss says it’s a world famous name. Luc told me his story and how he had opened the little box that his Pandora had given him. Of course, male solidarity plays its part and if I’m writing this article, it’s by no means out of misogyny, but rather because I tell myself that in life we are all linked to a Pandora. That is to say that there are two types of guys, there are those who have already had horns and those who one day will realize that at some point they too have had theirs, or else it’s just a problem of timing and that their turn will come one day. In the age of communication, when two out of three people have a mobile phone in their hand to communicate with friends, family, and to work, couples don’t communicate anymore, or communicate very badly. I know why this is a bit normal for my age, because when I hear or see couples talking, I start to dissect their behavior and what kind of relationship they have, I often wonder why she said that and why he answered her like that. I’ll give you an example, one day we were invited to a friend’s house, a friend of mine whom I’ve known for several decades, and there I witnessed the massacres. I don’t know what had happened before we arrived at their house, the poor guy as soon as he said a word his wife with whom he was madly in love, took him back by asking him “but why are you saying that, but stop talking nonsense”, the poor guy didn’t hear her say a word until the end of the evening. Some time later, we learned that he packed his suitcase, sold his house, and went looking for a woman elsewhere. Why woman from somewhere else who didn’t have the same culture and the same vision of life, I never dared to ask her, but seeing him with her it seemed to me that he felt more like a man next to her, he was respected by this woman, and I think that love for him has to go through the box of mutual respect, without that there is no love. Couples never communicate except by entrenching themselves and by camping out in ridiculous positions to hurt each other. Luc believes that if there are no more great men it is because there is no woman behind her man. My friend’s ex has registered on dating sites to find a guy, now she has lost count of the number of guys she’s spent a forgettable night with, but she doesn’t care, because she considers herself happy and free. I’m telling you this story and it’s up to you to make your opinion, personally, I have mine.
We’re Martians ! I will tell you Luke’s story and his story with Pandora, I haven’t forgotten, but it was just a little story to tell how communication plays roles in our private and professional lives. The story of Sky Walker and exactly like the story of this long time friend, it is really blatant and representative of the communication problem between man and woman. About ten years ago while my son was still in middle school, he told me that during a discussion on the theme of family and the evolution of the notion of family in France with their teacher, he realized that he was the only student in his class who lived with his father and mother, all the others were in broken or reconstituted families. Well, it was shocking, but sometimes you have to put things into perspective and say that perhaps it is my family that is a little out of the norm, since one pupil out of thirty-four showed a difference from the majority of the other pupils, so I see that me and my family are Martians who are hiding and who live discreetly with normal people.
How sad ! He left work driving his little car as he always did, that is to say very quickly, when he received a text message from his girlfriend telling him that she was in a bar with friends, he answered nicely, I’m coming to pick you up, we’re going to a little restaurant, she agreed. When he arrived at the bar, she told him that she had already had two mugs of beer and that she was feeling a bit tipsy. Then he noticed that she was showing a lot of lightness towards a friend of theirs, but when he asked her to behave herself, she started to throw him a lot of reproaches and especially a lot of contempt and then she left the bar to get some fresh air outside. Luc grabbed her cell phone that she had forgotten on the table and realized that there was something strange going on between her and their friend to whom she was showing her lightness in the bar. Luc decided to take her home because she was sleeping standing up. The next day, he tried by all means to find out what was going on between her and their friend, if there was any problem whatsoever based on the text message exchanges he had discovered on the cell phone. She told him that she loved him and that there was nothing between her and this friend. However, he had a strong suspicion, and was beginning to have suspicions that were steadily rising to the surface and that he had to evacuate. When she asked him to clear up his doubt, she answered, “Yes, I cheated on you, because that night I wanted to, and you weren’t there, that’s it, it’s done” now go get your stuff from my place and get out of here. What he wanted to know was when and why, what he had done to make her do this to him. After that, she turned off her phone and refused to talk to him. As she was no longer answering his calls, he called their mutual friend with whom she had cheated on him to ask him why, and then the greluchon answered “Don’t bother, it happened once because she needed to be consoled, and we ended up sleeping together”. What Luc wanted to know in this case was what was her share of responsibility, why she had been asking him to say words of love for the three years they’ve been together so that she would end up making him grow horns from behind. He ended up drinking five litres of alcohol to which he added a few pills to calm his nerves. It made him a little explosive cocktail, and then he got into his little car to go to her house, broke her apartment door, went up to her room, grabbed her by the hair, pulled her down the stairs by her hair, and after that, he says he doesn’t remember the rest. I find it hard to believe that he doesn’t remember anything or that he’s trying to erase the horror scenes that he put that woman through from his memory. The next day, when he saw the cops outside his door and one of the police officers asked him if he knew why they were there, he said “yes”, how sad.
It goes round and round all day long ! Deception hurts more when a person has placed a great love in another person, the greater the feelings, the more it hurts. After what happened, Luc tried by all means to find extenuating circumstances in Pandora, he said that for some time now, for nothing he had been getting scolded like a kid, he didn’t know how to calm down his girlfriend. He lacked tenderness, but that he could not show it to her, because he was being thrown out like a piece of shit. He was wondering if that’s what made him look for another guy somewhere else. He told me that sometimes, when they went out together in the car, if he took a road that he didn’t like, she would make remarks to him, on the pretext that if he had taken another road, they would have arrived faster, and that he was useless. He didn’t know how he was going to offer her tenderness if he had become lame in her eyes. Luc is a somewhat romantic boy, but she was a jealous woman, besides, if he was five minutes late, it was the end of the world, she would question him to find out where he was. In the street, her eyes should not meet those of a passer-by because that could make her jealous and make her angry and the situation could turn into a psychodrama. He often wondered how one could be so jealous and be the one who cheated on the other. George Sand said that “women have been given the instinct of deception and lying by the devil”. During the night, Luke only sleeps for two hours, he has dark circles, he was an excellent salesman, today he doesn’t sell anything anymore, the bourgeoisie risks to dismiss him for lack of result, the sentence he was judged for only starts at the end of the year as if it was done on purpose to make the anguish last, he smokes like a fireman, he behaves badly with his entourage, his friends have left him, he has the speech of someone who is going to commit suicide, a question he asks himself all the time, what did I do and it goes round and round all day long.
To end my article on a positive note, I would like to quote a saying by Sacha Guitry who says “I remain convinced that we can live together, from one end of life to the other, having for each other a feeling that nothing can alter, made of tenderness and respect, trust and friendship, friendship in the purest sense of the word. I believe in the friendship of husband and wife, and vice versa.”
I leave you with a big kiss.